I just got home from Barbara's. On the 3 1/2 mile drive between her house and mine I did not see another human being. I did not pass any other moving vehicle. There were NO cars parked on ANY street I drove on. Yes, it's 1:30 a.m. Yes, this is the suburbs. But I drove part of the way on a major street, through a 'downtown' area, and passed several 24-hour businesses to boot. Nada, inside or out.
It just seemed so freakishly otherworldly. So 'Night-of-the-Comet'.
("It was so hush-hush...they were so QUIET about it!! And then the next thing you know...")
Strangest thing, though? In my 10-minute drive home, I saw FOUR rabbits. Within a 2 block area. Three of 'em were massed together doing...um...whatever it is that bunnies do at 1:30 in the morning. Oh--wait. Maybe not THAT. But then again, maybe they just done finished up. You never can tell with rabbits. They WERE all smoking cigarettes...
And that fourth bunny? Fearlessly hopping around in the street. Didn't even freeze or change course when I drove past him. Just hopped around like he owned that goddamn piece of road. Like it was his own personal Cave of Caerbannog and I was just a another unsuspecting victim-to-be. Dumbass bunny. I shoulda run that defiant l'il fucker over. Used my car like my own personal Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. But that would have required more energy than I could be arsed to expend right then. So I let him live. Let them all live. We'll do battle another day, bunnies. Just you wait.
Anyway, that's my little late-night tale. For a few minutes it just felt like I was in this weird, alien scenario where all humans except me had been vaporized and I was left alone to do battle against fierce, post-coital, curfew-breaking bunny gangs. With nasty, big, pointy teeth.
*yawn*
Goodnight, Moon.
5 comments:
Perhaps you should enlist the aid of "Tim".
Arthur: What manner of man are you that you can summon up fire without flint or tinder?
Tim: I... am an enchanter.
Arthur: By what name are you known?
Tim: There are some who call me... 'Tim'
Arthur: ...greetings, Tim the Enchanter.
Great...got his number???
I DO! It is
(Fa-Fa-Fo) Fo-wahn-tooo- Fee-Fee-Fo-Seben
Be polite, sincere, and very quiet-ish when leaving message, for loud things and falsness give Tim the colonic tremors.
Mayhaps Tim's colonic tremors, channeled with an efficient mechanism (tube up butt), could be used to disperse said bands of evil, fuck-mad bunnies.
If that doesn't work, we may have to enlist the aid of 'Gary the Shrugger', said to posses a magical post-coital omelet, guaranteed to disperse all who taste its' eggy goodness.
I've just been given word that Gary the Shrugger shagged a bunch of fuck-mad bunnies and left them running for their sorry little warrens, and BOY! did they hop the bejeezus awaaay from Gary.
Gary said in his own defense:
"I wike bunnies. So pwetty. Vewwy seexxxy!."
Tim the Enchanter was in the outhouse during the event, and therefore unavailable for comment.
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