trust proof: February 2007

Found this old chat transcript between me and
my old Scottish chat buddy, Rodti.

pomona66: o.k. so me and broomfield are having this chat...
pomona66: and he says that if you blow yourself you ought to swallow
pomona66: to save on the mess
pomona66: but I say...no way...

trashcanglam: oh always

pomona66: ok...I guess
pomona66: glad I don't have lots of spooge to figure out what to do with

trashcanglam: it's always best to have a spunkmonkey there though

pomona66: spunkmonkey??? like a REAL monkey???

trashcanglam: yeah
trashcanglam: but they're especially trained to hoover up spunk
trashcanglam: it then undergoes a complex scientific transformation in their stomachs
trashcanglam: and emerges as a 'magic egg' that they shit out
trashcanglam: god help us if they hatch it

pomona66: a magic golden egg?

trashcanglam: more of a brown egg

pomona66: ah, yes...the brown ones...how come it always has to be 'brown' with you??? _

trashcanglam: now THERE's a lovely image for you

pomona66: as always trashy me boyo...

trashcanglam: i don't know. but it HAS TO BE BROWN.
trashcanglam: that is it

pomona66: speaking of lovely images...how's the bastard child? has he gone and got fisty's nipples all infected and split up???

trashcanglam: lol
trashcanglam: she managed to prise him off of the 'tit' early on
trashcanglam: he feeds on the juice of reconstituted cow
trashcanglam: luckily i wasn't required to give him milk from my 'teat'
trashcanglam: actually he now slurps up orange pastes that claim to be 'pasta and vegetable bake' etc

pomona66: and you best save your milk for the sperm depositories of Scotland...

trashcanglam: indeed
trashcanglam: if there is ever a global nuclear war my man-fat is to be used to create a new race

pomona66: you've got an entire country to father...in your image...

trashcanglam: what an unpleasant thought
trashcanglam: it really is

pomona66: oh??? now that you've got one to judge by, you know??

trashcanglam: oops
trashcanglam: erms
trashcanglam: yipyipyip
trashcanglam: hummm
trashcanglam: nononon
trashcanglam: i dunno
trashcanglam: you've confused me
trashcanglam: i'm getting optical poptitude

pomona66: that's alright
pomona66: I've confused myself
pomona66: I never chat anymore and tonight's the first time I've caught 2 of you online at the same time, but I just told Cholic the secret of blowing himself so I've got a couple of free minutes here...

trashcanglam: and how are things over in your cervical neck of the woods?

pomona66: things...things are...more or less the same...
pomona66: I raise my kid

trashcanglam: with levers and pulleys?
trashcanglam: at least 3 feet off of the ground?
trashcanglam: so he thinks he can levitate using will alone?

pomona66: HAH--

trashcanglam: what kind of way is that to fuck up a kid?
trashcanglam: you must use the ELECTRODES.

pomona66: reminds me of this one time...he was sick

trashcanglam: dammit
trashcanglam: the only way they'll learn is through ever-increasing voltages.

pomona66: and was lying flat on his back
pomona66: and I said 'Honey, do you want me to elevate your head a little?"

trashcanglam: oh the amount of women that have said that to me

pomona66: 8^)...so ANYWAYS...
pomona66: he got this freaky look on his face and said 'Can you REALLY do that????'
pomona66: he thought I was gonna LEVITATE his head...

trashcanglam: lol
trashcanglam: time to up the dosage, methinks

pomona66: he's already at the maximum

trashcanglam: just like his mommy, how sweet!

pomona66: I gave him coffee before school today

trashcanglam: 0_
trashcanglam: intravenously i hope

pomona66: RIGHT before school...then I dropped him off and RAN...
pomona66: he was walking around going 'I'm so wired!!!!'

trashcanglam: i hope you also gave him a knife
trashcanglam: a BIG knife
trashcanglam: the BIGGEST knife

pomona66: the biggest
pomona66: but it was made of air
pomona66: so he just had that stabbing motion
pomona66: which made him scarier than if he actually had a REAL knife
pomona66: you don't need weapons when you've got mental illness

trashcanglam: i want that tattooed on my forehead

pomona66: just give me credit somewhere

trashcanglam: i'll knife your name in a spaniard next week

pomona66: oh, now don't go killing a dog for me...
pomona66: oh...
pomona66: wait...
pomona66: a SPANIARD...

trashcanglam: lmao

pomona66: nevermind....carry on....

trashcanglam: i'm off to spain on saturday
trashcanglam: thank chrisy
trashcanglam: chrisy? that's christ's sister
trashcanglam: she's a honey

pomona66: I gathered maybe that's where you were going with that...you mean crissyb is Jesus' sister?

trashcanglam: although he does better bumtricks
trashcanglam: lol
trashcanglam: crissyb
trashcanglam: THERE's a name i've not heard in a while

pomona66: not since we made fun of her fucking the bloke on the carpet
pomona66: no sense of humor, that girl
pomona66: speaking of fucking blokes on the carpet....

trashcanglam: lol

pomona66: I've gotta go

trashcanglam: i deny everything

pomona66: as always...
pomona66: goodnight sir...good to chat again...

trashcanglam: np
trashcanglam: catch you later darling
trashcanglam: don't forget to wipe

pomona66: hello to the missus

trashcanglam: front to back, mind
trashcanglam: will do

pomona66: okee
pomona66: bye

trashcanglam: bye!
trashcanglam: :-B