Yeah, you do. I'm a PUSSY beer drinker (mmmmm....pussy beer...) and I recognize more names than that!!
I guess it helps that I'm old enough to be your, you know, BABYSITTER or something--this story is on the back of a 'special invitation' for a dinner/dance at some sort of VFW hall or someplace like that. From the 1960's at the latest. Probably earlier. (With a klassy story like this on the invite, how could anyone say no?) Plus it says "Play Beero" on it.
Oh. It also helps that alcoholism runs in the family, so I used to have to clean out dozens of empty beer cans from under my bed whenever my grandfather finished visiting.
Rheingold was his favorite. Then Schaefer. Both are NY beers. I still remember the song from the Schaefer commercial--"Shaefer...is the...one beer to have...when you're having more than one..."
My dad drank Carling's Black Label (not appearing in this story) back in the day.
High Life would be a Miller beer product. Pre-MGD and Lite and all that.
Berghoff is a Chicago thing, but it's brewed in Monroe, Wisconsin. I know, cuz I've been to Monroe. My parents almost bought a house there a coupla years ago. It's also home of the Swiss Colony. They're all about cheese. (Swissconsin...It's Dairy Funny!!)
Old Style. "Proud sponsor of the Chicago Cubs since 1950". Piss water by any other name is still piss water. 'Nuff said.
Schlitz. "The beer that made Milwaukee famous".
Blatz. Falstaff. Meister Brau. Heard of 'em. Prolly have had 'em somewhere at some time. Or not.
We had beer in upstate New York called 'Fort Skyler.' It was one dollar a six pack (4 bucks a case.) Add too that, there was a little market down the street and the old guy who owned it never checked ID's. (thats where my lawn mowing money went.) As you can imagine there was a dollars worth of quality in every bottle. . horrible stuff. It had a tendency to give you the 'runs' the next day. So my cousins and I affectionately called it 'Toilet Spatter' beer.
Only a native of New York would bother to differentiate between 'upstate' and the city (being a Brooklyn-born gal, I know these things). So then, where ya from???
As far as other local beers I've been intimate with, I lived in Pittsburgh for 8 years, so I've had my share of Iron City Beer (pronounced 'AAHhrn City' by the natives). If memory serves, it's like Budweiser for Steelworkers.
Where or how do I find ANYTHING I own? Prolly by digging in the bottom of a box of old papers in some dead person's basement. That's where all the good stuff usually is.
You absolutely NAILED it (hehhehheh) with that Playboy Sexy Beer Story thing. That's EXACTLY what it's like. And that Blatz part sends me, too. Kinda reminds me of that saying, "Back when men were men and sheep were scared..."
And I'm really glad he didn't Shaefer. Cuz, you know, that really hurts.
I just started to read those Beero rules in my 'just woke up not-yet-medicated-or-caffeinated' state with a hypomanic bipolar who's been up all night rambling stuff to me about ink-cartridges-printer-settings-'I-wanna-shave-but-I'm-just too-sweaty-right-now'-7-gigs-of-music-on-limewire-put-the laundry-in-the-dryer-blahblahblah... and my brain just went *POP*!!!
SO...I'll take a look at 'em later. After I've had my ritalin and locked Manic Boy in his room.
A wise person once told me that nothing will aggravate the situation more than to tell a aggravated person to 'chill' and patronize them. So, with that said . . Don't you hate pork stains on a new rug?
Have a few drinks while you're eating out.
15 comments:
Michelob, Pabst and Budweiser.
Is it sad that those are the only names I recognize out of that entire story?
This just lends further credence to my belief that I need to drink more.
Yeah, you do. I'm a PUSSY beer drinker (mmmmm....pussy beer...) and I recognize more names than that!!
I guess it helps that I'm old enough to be your, you know, BABYSITTER or something--this story is on the back of a 'special invitation' for a dinner/dance at some sort of VFW hall or someplace like that. From the 1960's at the latest. Probably earlier. (With a klassy story like this on the invite, how could anyone say no?) Plus it says "Play Beero" on it.
Beero? Whassat?
Anybody?
Oh. It also helps that alcoholism runs in the family, so I used to have to clean out dozens of empty beer cans from under my bed whenever my grandfather finished visiting.
Rheingold was his favorite.
Then Schaefer. Both are NY beers. I still remember the song from the Schaefer commercial--"Shaefer...is the...one beer to have...when you're having more than one..."
My dad drank Carling's Black Label (not appearing in this story) back in the day.
High Life would be a Miller beer product. Pre-MGD and Lite and all that.
Berghoff is a Chicago thing, but it's brewed in Monroe, Wisconsin. I know, cuz I've been to Monroe. My parents almost bought a house there a coupla years ago. It's also home of the Swiss Colony. They're all about cheese. (Swissconsin...It's Dairy Funny!!)
Old Style. "Proud sponsor of the Chicago Cubs since 1950". Piss water by any other name is still piss water. 'Nuff said.
Schlitz. "The beer that made Milwaukee famous".
Blatz.
Falstaff.
Meister Brau.
Heard of 'em. Prolly have had 'em somewhere at some time. Or not.
And finally, for what it's worth, I would have liked to have seen her gently cupping his ROLLING ROCKs whilst he fingered up her HOEGAARDEN.
Cuz I'm a dirty little bird.
We had beer in upstate New York called 'Fort Skyler.' It was one dollar a six pack (4 bucks a case.) Add too that, there was a little market down the street and the old guy who owned it never checked ID's.
(thats where my lawn mowing money went.)
As you can imagine there was a dollars worth of quality in every bottle. . horrible stuff.
It had a tendency to give you the 'runs' the next day.
So my cousins and I affectionately called it 'Toilet Spatter' beer.
Aaaahh, memories.
Only a native of New York would bother to differentiate between 'upstate' and the city (being a Brooklyn-born gal, I know these things). So then, where ya from???
As far as other local beers I've been intimate with, I lived in Pittsburgh for 8 years, so I've had my share of Iron City Beer (pronounced 'AAHhrn City' by the natives). If memory serves, it's like Budweiser for Steelworkers.
Woodstock, New York.
What? There was a music festival there?. .. .naaaa.
I'm caught between laughing and vomiting.
Was this, like, the winning entry to Playboy Magazine's April 1956 edition to "Concoct a Sexy Story Using Beer Names"? (ha! conCOCKT.)
BEST. MAN-TRIBUTE. EVER.
Girl, you need to tell me where and how you found this.
I 'specially like how 'she let out a few BLATZ of delight'.
Is that good or bad? Sounds like she farted, or pooped a little, or mebbe both.
HEINEKEN? FUCK THAT SHIT! PABST BLUE RIBBON!
...Your 'Blue Velvet' is not lost on me, Ms. Laffmonger.
Where or how do I find ANYTHING I own? Prolly by digging in the bottom of a box of old papers in some dead person's basement. That's where all the good stuff usually is.
You absolutely NAILED it (hehhehheh) with that Playboy Sexy Beer Story thing. That's EXACTLY what it's like. And that Blatz part sends me, too. Kinda reminds me of that saying, "Back when men were men and sheep were scared..."
And I'm really glad he didn't Shaefer. Cuz, you know, that really hurts.
Ah, Blue Velvet. Quotables upon quotables in that there flim. Me and my friend Andre used to always do THIS one when greeting each other:
Dorothy Vallens: Hello, baby.
Frank Booth: Shut up! It's Daddy, you shithead!
AND I'M STILL WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO TELL ME WTF 'BEERO' IS.
http://beero.co.uk/Beero/beero_bible.htm
AAAAARRRGHHHHHH!!!!
I just started to read those Beero rules in my 'just woke up not-yet-medicated-or-caffeinated' state with a hypomanic bipolar who's been up all night rambling stuff to me about ink-cartridges-printer-settings-'I-wanna-shave-but-I'm-just too-sweaty-right-now'-7-gigs-of-music-on-limewire-put-the laundry-in-the-dryer-blahblahblah... and my brain just went *POP*!!!
SO...I'll take a look at 'em later. After I've had my ritalin and locked Manic Boy in his room.
A wise person once told me that nothing will aggravate the situation more than to tell a aggravated person to 'chill' and patronize them. So, with that said . .
Don't you hate pork stains on a new rug?
Is pork 'code' for anything, by chance? If so, then yeah...I do.
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