Pah. You own one, and then when they turn two, they begin inviting their bird friends over.
You feel bad. You want to say 'No'-- after all, they ARE expensive, AND African Greys can live long enough to learn lots of impressive, $5 words -- but it IS AG's second birthday (AG being 'African Grey'), and you owe it to him. Or her.
AND you do NOT want to turn away that inebriated clown who just showed up with an arsenal of balloon animals and seed-cake.
He's wheedling at your doorstep, and he's got a flask. Turbo 999 Kidney/Liver Infarction. Want some? No? Hokay... He'll shhaaave it fer later.
Before you know it... The house is a fickin Aviary of Birds of Paradise: They's popping failed balloon animals, they's crappin everywheres, and apparently one budgie popped the clown in the nose.
...But my head is not on straight. I believe my desecrated arse was handed to me on a used Dixie plate with this exam I done took tonight, but that ain't the point.
Let's talk about our Red Hot Chili Pepper guys!
"Special Secret Song Inside" being prime example, from dem good ol Uplift MoFo Party Plan days. Fun song! Good Party location tips, no?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNaImuguDII
Wellsies, I was in college at the time, and carpooling with a cluster of other female collegiates up North to Thanksgiving or some holiday poo, and someone's mom was the driver.
That Special, Secret Song came on over thru the car's tape-deck (tis 1991, y'all), and
While Driver's daughter Clamped hands over her mouth And fumbled to Hopefully and Possibly Eject The Cassette of Filthy Ideas
... Driver-Mom said:
"Oh, that's so NICE! What a NICE SONG!
'I Want To Party On Your Birthday, lady'! (she's singin it, now)
"Wow! You don't hear nice shit like that anymore, do you??"
HA!! I can't believe she got THAT from the lyric "I want to party on your pussy baby"!!
OK, so here's my RHCP story:
Once, back in the day, I was sitting in the Chicago Diner, minding my own business, eatin' scrambled tofu and reading the Reader when I happened to look up. Strait ahead of me I saw the biggest pie hole I've EVER seen, engaged in the longest yawn ever recorded in the history of man, and the first thought that entered my head was "I KNOW that mouth!!"
Needless to say, 'twas Anthony Kiedis. A quick scan of the other members of the dining party revealed the 3 remaining members of the band (including Hilel...RIP ...for this was back in the "tube-sock-as-stage-costume" days).
Anyhoo, I finished my breakfast, paid, and walked past without making a crazy fan scene.
Lynn and her African Grey.
8 comments:
Fuckin' Birds.
Pah.
You own one, and then when they turn two, they begin inviting their bird friends over.
You feel bad. You want to say 'No'-- after all, they ARE expensive, AND African Greys can live long enough to learn lots of impressive, $5 words -- but it IS AG's second birthday (AG being 'African Grey'), and you owe it to him. Or her.
AND you do NOT want to turn away that inebriated clown who just showed up with an arsenal of balloon animals and seed-cake.
He's wheedling at your doorstep, and he's got a flask. Turbo 999 Kidney/Liver Infarction.
Want some? No? Hokay... He'll shhaaave it fer later.
Before you know it...
The house is a fickin Aviary of Birds of Paradise: They's popping failed balloon animals, they's crappin everywheres, and apparently one budgie
popped the clown in the nose.
Oooh. Wouldn't want to be there.
Or WOULD I??
-lorelei
Lorelei.... you perplex me sometimes....you must be a ball of verbal and physical energy.....
Thirty Dirty Birds
Sittin' on a Curb
Chirpin' and Burpin' and
Eatin' Dirty Earthworms
Along comes Herbie
From Thirty-third and Third
Saw the Thirty Dirty Birds
Sittin' on a Curb
Chirpin' and Burpin' and
Eatin' Dirty Earthworms
BOY, was he Disturbed!!
I just tried to say that out loud....have had some wine and it's not so easy....sounds very singsong.....
You have to say it with a heavy New York accent to get it right.
I always thought it was
'Burpin'
BEFORE
'Chirpin'
...But my head is not on straight.
I believe my desecrated arse was handed to me on a used Dixie plate with this exam I done took tonight, but that ain't the point.
Let's talk about our Red Hot Chili Pepper guys!
"Special Secret Song Inside" being prime example, from dem good ol Uplift MoFo Party Plan days.
Fun song! Good Party location tips, no?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNaImuguDII
Wellsies, I was in college at the time, and carpooling with a cluster of other female collegiates up North to Thanksgiving or some holiday poo, and someone's mom was the driver.
That Special, Secret Song came on over thru the car's tape-deck (tis 1991, y'all), and
While
Driver's daughter
Clamped hands over her mouth
And fumbled to
Hopefully and Possibly
Eject The Cassette of Filthy Ideas
... Driver-Mom said:
"Oh, that's so NICE! What a NICE SONG!
'I Want To Party On Your Birthday, lady'!
(she's singin it, now)
"Wow! You don't hear nice shit like that anymore, do you??"
(Guess not.)
Lorelei
HA!! I can't believe she got THAT from the lyric "I want to party on your pussy baby"!!
OK, so here's my RHCP story:
Once, back in the day, I was sitting in the Chicago Diner, minding my own business, eatin' scrambled tofu and reading the Reader when I happened to look up. Strait ahead of me I saw the biggest pie hole I've EVER seen, engaged in the longest yawn ever recorded in the history of man, and the first thought that entered my head was "I KNOW that mouth!!"
Needless to say, 'twas Anthony Kiedis. A quick scan of the other members of the dining party revealed the 3 remaining members of the band (including Hilel...RIP ...for this was back in the "tube-sock-as-stage-costume" days).
Anyhoo, I finished my breakfast, paid, and walked past without making a crazy fan scene.
Yeah, I'm cool.
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