The note that came with this picture said:"And-- By God-- I WILL hurt you if you don't
stop the self-deprecation of your physical appearance."
It's just that, after a huge Mexican dinner
and nearly an entire package of Almondettes,
my belly truly DID look big to me.
Distorted body image is insidious.
When I can't trust my own perceptions,
Proof always helps make things clearer.
Thanks for the visual evidence to set me straight.
And for the warning.
15 comments:
Teehee! You're welcome. --Lorelei
hey--try typing your name into the 'other' field and see if you can post that way. otherwise, make up a name--I don't fancy 'anonymous' all that much...it confuses me. *^(
I am glad you understand that you have NO BELLY...I have seen more fat on a butchers apron...behave yourself missy..
I'm trying to behave myself. That's why I listen to people when they tell me things.
I have a very distorted body image--I was overweight for the majority of my life, so that is still the mindset I have more often than not--that of a heavy person. It is STILL so odd for me when people tell me I am thin, and almost unbelievable to hear it said that I am TOO THIN--that's why I need to listen to those concerned voices and to look at visual evidence in order to see what I am blind to without them.
Great picture. They should use that on a malnutrition poster.
Anorexia. You suffer from anorexia. Get help. Do something.
You are killing yourself.
I guess you really do want to die alone.
Well, it's a sad way to live. It is sadder for your child to watch you slowly die.
if you will not change to help yourself the least you can do with your life is to change for your childs sake. But I guess your are too self absorbed to make any changes. It is all about you and your pain. Have you ever for a sceond considered what you are doing to the people around you? What you are doing to your child? He gets to watch his mom kill herself. He gets a front row seat at the anorexia party.
Get some help for your anorexia. There comes a point where people stop caring and become spectators to your demise.
Truth, I appreciate your taking the time to write. And I have much to say to you in response to your post. It is a response I do not want to just flippantly shit out, as the concerns you have expressed (and accusations you have made) are very serious ones indeed. I certainly hope they are coming from a place of love and compassion, and not from one of abject contempt and dismissal.
However, before I do respond, I am interested in knowing what my other blog readers think--however well or little they 'know' me--about how they perceive my life and how I'm handling the issues I struggle with, and also whether or not they are in agreement with your assessment of my situation. Some of them have no more information than you to work from. Some of them have a lot more.
So...everybody...please share your thoughts about all this.
As I said, I've learned to listen to opinions other than my own--ESPECIALLY in this matter of body image--because my own perception has been irrevocably distorted from a lifetime of struggle with an eating disorder and the low self-esteem that is an inevitable by-product of that struggle.
In the meantime...I'll be working on a 'real and proper' response to your post, Truth. It is something that warrants more than the 3-paragraph answer I've written thus far.
What the hell?
That previous comment was supposed to be funny, right?
If not, then either
A) "truth" is an ass
or
B) Maybe you need help?
I like you, however you are. I just wish you'd show more boobs.
Sweetheart, if I HAD more boobs I'd show 'em--just because you wrote that vaguely 'Bridget Jones'-esque 'like you just the way you are' thing. 8^)
I think we posted our comments at the same time, so if you have any other thoughts once you've read MY post, please add to the discussion.
And I'm not asking for opinions on Truth's post as a way of instigating a 'Trash Truth' campaign--I seriously would like to know if any of you are in agreement with what Truth wrote--or partial agreement, etc...
It's all about trying to keep each other healthy and happy and support each other through the struggles that make us human. The healthier we each can be in our own lives, the better off we ALL will be. That's just the way it works.
Girl, you KNOW I know you best of all yer bloggers-- the ones who post regularly, as well as the ones who poke their anuses out from the ether to spew shit.
You're a lithe and elegant work of fabulousity. It's true!
And I've seen you eat. LOTS. I've eaten WITH you. LOTS.
And you're right about the body-image thang. I'm afraid I know very few people who don't have an issue with their bodies, in one way or another. Tis how the world turns and creaks like an ol' music box. *sigh*
You just work on not being so self-defecating (get it? teehee!), and hang out with yer chum, Lorelei, who knows bestest. WORD!
I'm here...reading...reflecting...
contemplating. Seeing if anyone else wants a chance to express an opinion before I let loose with my own response (and still trying to figure out just what my response IS--busy sorting the grain from the emotionally-charged chaff!)
I thank you all for your posts, so far.
There is not much in this world that is worth less than unsolicited advice.
Gosh..some stuff to think about there people...and for myself then I agree with Barbara, OMC and Lorelei...yet although when I first read what 'truth' had to say I was taken aback, there is something in there that niggles at me...I have a confident,very slim 15 yr old daughter...at birth she was nearly 11 pounds and I still jokingly blame my round belly on her! so sometimes I hear myself absentmindedly moan about not having a flat stomach and I'm glad to say that she reminds me that I have a really bad self body image...and she's right...you need people to remind you of whats what now and again..I'm glad my daughter is so self assured and that you, Laura, are dealing with things in just the right way.
Thank you for your vote of confidence, Deirdre. I am trying to deal with it in 'the right way'. That's why I posted the pic and its' accompanying comment in the first place.
When trying to recover from any addictive behavior the first thing that needs to go out the door is secrecy. That I chose to reveal the thought that was in my head at the very moment this photo was being taken--first to Lorelei right at the time it happened, and then subsequently to my blog readers--ought to have been a clue to anyone paying attention that I no longer wished to cling to those sick distortions. Sick distortions lead to sick behavior. And yes, sick behavior can lead to death.
There is a saying/tool for recovery in 12-step groups I have been involved with that goes: 'Name it. Claim it. Dump it.' That is precisely what I was attempting to do.
Recovery is a process. Reprieve is given only a day (or an hour, minute, second) at a time, if we choose to accept that reprieve. And even in the best of moments--especially in the best of moments--our destructive tendencies are always waiting to take back over.
We have slips--physical slips are the most visible to those close to us. But physical slips don't happen without going on those slippery mental slopes first. We're less likely to slip if we get off those slopes.
Telling someone (and subsequently a lot of someones) I was on a slippery slope was an action I took to disarm the power of that thought, and hopefully, to remain in a healthy place for yet another day.
That my utilizing a tool for my recovery would lead to such an attack on my character is something I never foresaw.
P.S. (and it is a BIG P.S.) I am so happy that your daughter has a healthy sense of self.
Give yourself a big pat on the back for that one, because she would not have it without plenty of healthy parenting on your part. You done good, girl!!
I don't know who this Truth person is, or why they think they are the authority here, but, although I don't agree with their attack on you, I hope it gets you to think about whether or not you have a problem. You've been think for the past few years at least, and I know it started after a painful breakup. I had hoped things were better now, but if they aren't I hope you'll be reaching out to those who love you.
I have a distorted body image too, but I think I look THINNER than I am. There's a lot of denial going on in my head I guess.
Anyway, you need to realize that you are fine the way that you are before anything else. I'm glad to see your other friends saying that too.
Love,
Leslie
Post a Comment