Oh ye of little faith. You've already seen me turn a turkey vertebrate into a self-fellating ex-boyfriend. What's a little 'ole safety pin after THAT??
What did you miss--the turkey vertebrate sculpture? I'm sure I've shown it to you--it's the one called 'trophy boyfriend' and it's the silver vertebrate on a pedestal that says 'the boy most likely to blow himself'...c'mon, I never told you that story? well, in a nutshell (nutsack?), I had this well-hung hippie boyfriend when I was 34 (he was 19) who always claimed he could blow himself. So one day I made him show me. His technique was clever, yet unexpected, and required quite a bit of flexibility.
Anyway, one day several years later, I had this turkey neck from a turkey I cooked and I thought it was so disgusting I wanted to make a sculpture out of it. So I de-fleshed it and dried it out (with advice from some guy I knew who had been to mortuary school) and as it dried it curled up and started looking a lot like Dustin's autofellating acrobatics. I just put 2 and 2 (or rather, 2 and 10") together. And this, my friends, is how art is created.
But answer me this, boy wonder: why would anyone ever admit to being able to do suck his own dick? Would you? Admit to it, I mean? I know the answer to the other question. It's like that joke:
Q: Why do dogs lick their balls? A: Because they can.
But if dogs could talk, would they be bragging about it?
I've heard it said that a certain singer named Ness could do the same- would use it as a pick up line "Hey wanna see me..." get started and then expect a little help to finish ("Now it's your turn...").
I suppose if you can do it, you get a little over excited by the skill and just have to share with the world.
Or all that self-help addles the brain a little and throws thing itno a new perspective.
I SWEAR it didn't look like a penis until I took a photo of it. I sometimes have that kind of effect on things...
7 comments:
I'm lovin' this site more and more everyday.
This could be an ad for safe sex. "Be safe. You wouldn't want a rusty pin."
Woman, how can you turn a safety pin into a penis?
What are you, some sorta Scrota-Hero??
Oh ye of little faith. You've already seen me turn a turkey vertebrate into a self-fellating ex-boyfriend. What's a little 'ole safety pin after THAT??
Huh-huh. Oh, yeah. I FORGOT.
'fraid I missed that one. It is incredible how something as "innocent" as a safety pin can so quickly cross the line.
What did you miss--the turkey vertebrate sculpture? I'm sure I've shown it to you--it's the one called 'trophy boyfriend' and it's the silver vertebrate on a pedestal that says 'the boy most likely to blow himself'...c'mon, I never told you that story? well, in a nutshell (nutsack?), I had this well-hung hippie boyfriend when I was 34 (he was 19) who always claimed he could blow himself. So one day I made him show me. His technique was clever, yet unexpected, and required quite a bit of flexibility.
Anyway, one day several years later, I had this turkey neck from a turkey I cooked and I thought it was so disgusting I wanted to make a sculpture out of it. So I de-fleshed it and dried it out (with advice from some guy I knew who had been to mortuary school) and as it dried it curled up and started looking a lot like Dustin's autofellating acrobatics. I just put 2 and 2 (or rather, 2 and 10") together. And this, my friends, is how art is created.
But answer me this, boy wonder: why would anyone ever admit to being able to do suck his own dick? Would you? Admit to it, I mean? I know the answer to the other question. It's like that joke:
Q: Why do dogs lick their balls?
A: Because they can.
But if dogs could talk, would they be bragging about it?
I've heard it said that a certain singer named Ness could do the same- would use it as a pick up line "Hey wanna see me..." get started and then expect a little help to finish ("Now it's your turn...").
I suppose if you can do it, you get a little over excited by the skill and just have to share with the world.
Or all that self-help addles the brain a little and throws thing itno a new perspective.
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