After 8 months of no sex and the continual 'no go' message from the only person I want to have sex with, yeah, it's about time I went looking for simulated love in Villa Park. Or Lombard. I forget which.
Unfortunately, I didn't blow my wad on one of these big guns. Maybe I should have cuz I've already nearly killed the rabbit I decided to start out with. He just can't keep up with his fuck-bunny brethren. Or me, for that matter.
Yep, Cletus. I know, I know. We all know how to please ourselves better than anyone else does. But as you know, that's only half the fun of sex. And I sorely miss that other half. The giving half.
BUT in the interim I will take that old hippie freak advice:
"...if you can't be with the one you love, honey, love the one you're with."
I thought you guys had LOTS of beavers up there in Canada. Or maybe that was just badgers. And wolverines. And moose. And hockey players. And barking spiders.
Having not actually tried one of these things yet, I can't exactly tell ya how comfortable they are. I'm still trying to get past the 'ewwww' factor myself. I'll play with 'em, take pictures of 'em, talk candidly about 'em, and even make sculptures of 'em. But stick one of 'em INSIDE me??? Ewwww. Still can't get my head around it not being 'the real thing'. I like the real thing. I don't wanna have to substitute. Now, if this were an adjunct to the real thing instead of a complete substitute, well, then, THAT'S an entirely different story. I would welcome it with open...um...you know...
THEN it would feel like playtime. And playtime is good time.
But at the moment, I'm just wishing that self-pleasure wasn't the only pleasure available to me right now. That's all.
But alas, I digress.
Anyone care to share with us the pros and cons (ins and outs, as it were) of the vibrating, rotating, pulsating pleasure rods pictured above?
My little place? Oh, it's in the same spot no matter WHICH town I'm in--'cept some people have an easier time finding it than others and--oh...uh...wait--um... OH--you wanna know where the STORE is...
Maybe as soon as you can, if you're even half as horny as I am. But...erm...what kind of 'device' would ye be seeking out?? And would ye be willing to report back to us with your 'findings'??? Huh? HUH?!!??
14 comments:
Ooh, purple majesty! They even have that porno softness!
So you kooky gals finally went to the toy store??? Sounds like it wasn't a moment too soon.
After 8 months of no sex and the continual 'no go' message from the only person I want to have sex with, yeah, it's about time I went looking for simulated love in Villa Park. Or Lombard. I forget which.
Unfortunately, I didn't blow my wad on one of these big guns. Maybe I should have cuz I've already nearly killed the rabbit I decided to start out with. He just can't keep up with his fuck-bunny brethren. Or me, for that matter.
Well as a neo-Marxist, all I have to say is "Production for use, baby!"
Wear it out and then get another one. You've got lots of energy to release, and as the old saying goes "If you want a job done right..."
Yep, Cletus. I know, I know. We all know how to please ourselves better than anyone else does. But as you know, that's only half the fun of sex. And I sorely miss that other half. The giving half.
BUT in the interim I will take that old hippie freak advice:
"...if you can't be with the one you love, honey, love the one you're with."
Even if he is battery powered.
Yikes! Those things don't look all that comfortable.
But then again...Not having a beaver may bias my opinion.
I thought you guys had LOTS of beavers up there in Canada. Or maybe that was just badgers. And wolverines. And moose. And hockey players. And barking spiders.
Having not actually tried one of these things yet, I can't exactly tell ya how comfortable they are. I'm still trying to get past the 'ewwww' factor myself. I'll play with 'em, take pictures of 'em, talk candidly about 'em, and even make sculptures of 'em. But stick one of 'em INSIDE me??? Ewwww. Still can't get my head around it not being 'the real thing'. I like the real thing. I don't wanna have to substitute. Now, if this were an adjunct to the real thing instead of a complete substitute, well, then, THAT'S an entirely different story. I would welcome it with open...um...you know...
THEN it would feel like playtime. And playtime is good time.
But at the moment, I'm just wishing that self-pleasure wasn't the only pleasure available to me right now. That's all.
But alas, I digress.
Anyone care to share with us the pros and cons (ins and outs, as it were) of the vibrating, rotating, pulsating pleasure rods pictured above?
Sorry...Outta my league. Given that I've already got my own equipment, I don't really have much use for the fake ones.
I'm definitely interested in hearing everyone else's stories, though. Except for maybe Franko's.
8 months is nothing- qiute your whining. Now when you hit 13+, then you can come talk to me.
13+ what?? Months? Years?? INCHES???
At any rate, yeah, I'd certainly be whining if I hit ANY of those.
Maybe you oughtta seek some simulated love, too. I know a place. In Villa Park. Or Lombard. I forget which.
And then you could report back to us with your findings.
(Just a thought...)
8^(
Where might I find your little place in Villa Park? Or Lombard?
My little place? Oh, it's in the same spot no matter WHICH town I'm in--'cept some people have an easier time finding it than others and--oh...uh...wait--um... OH--you wanna know where the STORE is...
...um...on Roosevelt.
I'll have to visit it sometime, maybe soon?
Maybe as soon as you can, if you're even half as horny as I am. But...erm...what kind of 'device' would ye be seeking out?? And would ye be willing to report back to us with your 'findings'??? Huh? HUH?!!??
Inquiring dirty minds wanna know...
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