trust proof: September 2007

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Code

The man who bought these called
them 'the infinity' and 'the cactus'.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Friday, September 21, 2007

For Lolly

Cuz you dinnae get to hear it the other night.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

HERE'S the picture I was looking for,
albeit a blow-up from a contact sheet.
It's one of the best photos I've ever taken--
one of my favorites, anyway.

September 18, 1989. John P.'s 21st birthday.
My then-boyfriend, Guy Aitchison, did the tattoo:
Black Flag bars and Nancy. Nice.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

John P.

Couldn't find the pic I wanted--the one I took of him
on his 21st birthday, when I got him his first tattoo.
This is a blurry pic (the only one on my computer)
taken at our friend Jeff's wedding in 2001.

Anyhoo, Happy Birthday John P.!!

Greg

I was looking for a photo I took of my friend John, as today is his birthday. I found a contact sheet with this on it instead. It's the only photo I have of my friend, Greg. It was a bit of a jolt seeing it because Greg has been on my mind a lot lately.

This tiny pic.
The sweetest, but alas, fading memories of our times together.
A huge empty space in my heart where he used to be--these are all I have left of my friend.

I know I've never fully mourned his death. I don't know how. It's something my therapist, Kristin, and I just talked about last week--Greg...how much Ron reminds me of Greg and always has...how much I relive losing Greg every time I lose Ron...and how much more I miss Ron every time I think about Greg. Yes, they are two very separate--and uniquely special--men. But they are both people I have lost from my life, and loss is something I have an extraordinarily difficult time processing.

Anyway, I've been thinking a lot lately about contacting Greg's best friend, Phyllis, and talking with her. I only met her once, at his funeral. That's part of the difficulty with this--I don't know any of his friends and I've never had anyone who knew him to talk to--I think that's an important part of the healing process when someone dies that I missed out on--the part where you reminisce with others who knew him and it helps somehow in validating that, yes, there WAS this person who touched your life--and YOU, in turn, had some impact on his life. I've only had my memories of Greg, unshared, unvalidated. It almost feels sometimes like it never happened...like I loved just a dream, and not a man.